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         For many of the games that I've run or played in I've written down anything that at that moment seemed funny to me. Despite the fact that I'm still looking for most of them (I tended to write them on whatever was handy) I now have a fair colection of mildly humorous out of context comments that occured while role-playing. Note that many of these are not from MPB itself. If I feel the need to make an editorial comment I'll do it in Italics. Note that many of these are lewd, suggestive, crude or not funny.. If you are easily offended then you should get out more often, read some funny books and watch lots of stand-up comedy... (oh yeah and not read ahead as you might fall prone to chronic offendeditis)

Note: All save one of these (which was out of character) is listed under the character rather than the players name.

A mortal white-wolf game run by a friend

Gabriel: No we're morbid necrophiliacs that's why we're here! (Long story)

Dillan: Wait till 400
Gabriel: 1, 2, bugger this 400!

Greggory: The statue is our friend

Gabriel: Damn logic, I just want to pull the lever and blast something!

Dillan: Go pull the lever, we'll try it again with the door open.

Gabriel: We felt like resorting to mindless destruction. (said after cutting off head of a certain statue)

My cyberpunk games

Kial: We'll I'm stuffed either way so I might as well take off my pants! (another long story)

NPC corporate assasin: Biotechnica, welcome to the new cleaner future.

Sebastian: Please leave or we'll be forced to remove you... With a mop and bucket.

Bob: My name's bob

NPC nomad pack leader: I'll send you me best men, Dwayne and Percy, you heard of 'em?

Assorted Games
 
 NPC Irate farmer: Besse!

Lee chan: "Long Kai Wins" (after obtaining a machine which plays "Long Kai Wins" in mortal combat tones)

Lee chan: I'll be okay just so long as "Long kai wins"

Long Kai: I'm looking for a nun working here, she'll have $10,000 handcuffed to her arm in a police evidence bag (Way too long story)

Bob Salvatore: 30 grand each, best part is we'll be using Pokemon to get it. (never join a mission with that as a brief, I did and I regret it)
 

MPB

Jason R Bodson: Normally I don't like the idea of supernatural energies going through my body... but to serve my country"
Andrew Delbin: God bless America!
(note: Although there was some pretty sickening patriotism here please note that I and the players involved weren't even American which makes it either worse or better depending on your point of view)

P.S.  And that's it for about a year of gaming.... We're not really that funny so these things take us a while (actually we're hilarious but I censored out the funniest bits to prevent your spleen exploding from laughter and ending up all over the screen)

P.S.S. (note: I take no legal responsibilty for anyone believing the above lie.... Your spleen exploding would be trapped by your skin and just make a gooey mess inside you your screen wouldn't be messed up at all)

P.S.S.S. (note: I take no legal responsibility for any screens that are made messy by exploding bodily organs, phewwf another dodged litigation)

P.S.S.S.S. It's all fun and games until someone looses a pancreas.

P.S.S.S.S.S. I take no legal responsibility for the terminal stupidity which motivated you to read to this point despite the generally low quantity of humor involved.

P.S.S.S.S.S.S. All trademarks and patents pending registered, copyright and reserved... so ha ha ha I win again in the game of legal stupidity!

P.S.S.S.S.S.S.S. Anyone who can identify the exact level of stupidity  which is motivating me to continue in my stupidity will be called into legal action for being a smarty pants.

P.Shhhhhhhhhhh   I'll be quiet now, just don't make me wear the funny white clothes and see the men in white coats.....